OUR MOVE TO THE WILLOWS; PERSONAL IMPRESSIONS
Rabbi Rifat Sonsino, Ph.D
April 4, 2019
According to the Rabbis of old, at the age of 80, one
reaches the stage of GEVURAH (“strength”), interpreted as “strong old age” or
“the gift of special strength” (PA, Ch. 5). Obviously this was wishful thinking.
In those primitive days of medicine, or even after, people did not live that
long. For example, Spinoza died at the age of 44 (17th cent),
Descartes at 53 (17th cent), and Mozart at 35 (18th
cent). So, as I was getting closer to my 80’th birthday, my wife and I decided
to move to a retirement home in order to begin my own GEVURAH stage.
We chose the Willows in Westborough, MA, because of its good
reputation and its proximity to our daughter’s house. A year ago, I had given a
series of lectures there on the Dead Sea Scrolls, and I knew a little about it.
When an apartment became available, we decided to take it. We moved in at the
end of August, 2018. I think we did the right thing, and are happy with our
choice.
We live in a large complex, which includes an independent
living section of about 160 units. We have a two-bedroom apartment, with two
baths and a balcony. It meets our needs. In the future, if we need to, we could
be sent to the assisted living quarters and even to the long-term facility
associated with the Willows. By downsizing, however, we miss our direct access
to our covered garage in our previous condo in Ashland, MA, and my large
library that I had to give up by donating or simply discarding all the books
that I thought I will never use again. (At my age, I don’t think I need my
Sumerian grammar and texts).
Most people in our complex are in their 80’s and a few in
their 90’s. (Mr. Brown is 99, and is sharper than many of us). Ines and I could
have waited a few years before making this drastic change, but we could not
figure out when is the right time to make the switch. So, we took the plunge,
and I think we were correct. We interact with the local residents on a daily
basis, and find many of them very pleasant to deal with. About 10 per cent of
the apartment owners/renters are Jewish, and the administration accommodates
our needs. The local Reform Rabbi makes regular visits. I do not eat pork
products, and so the kitchen, following the directives of the higher-ups, sets
aside a portion of the food, usually the soup, without mixing it with ham.
Living at the Willows has made our life easy. We have our
daily routine: Every morning, Ines drives to the sports club and I use the gym
downstairs. We have breakfast and lunch at home or away, but go down to the
restaurant for dinner. Ines will not have to cook supper anymore. The food is
tasty and the deserts to die for. We have cocktails every day at 4.30 pm, and a
song session on Fridays at 4 pm. Our apartment is cleaned once a week. We have
a rich program of movies, musical presentations, outings and lectures. We have
a library, a gym, a small store, a place for haircut and grooming, and various
function rooms. Mail is delivered every day. The Sunday edition of the Boston
Globe is placed by our door. The main lobby is nice, but could use some
upgrading and refurbishing. (They expect to do that in the near future). They
also plan to bring in a bank. There is a
nurse on call. The place is managed by a competent and professional crew. The
kitchen and maintenance staff are fantastic; they respond to our needs quickly.
If something has to be repaired, all you have to do is call the main office. They
even clean our cars when it snows.
I realize that the Willows represents the last abode in my
life. Getting older is not easy. I am now much more aware of my fragility. My hair
and beard are whiter and thinner. My body is changing (as my son says, “all
those pies!”). I don’t like to drive in
the dark anymore. My memory is not what it used to be. On the other hand, my
mind is sharper and my answers more radical. I have little tolerance with
ignorance and cannot accept violence as an answer. Thankfully, both Ines and I
are in relatively good shape. Ines helps our daughter and grandchildren with various
chores. I keep in touch with my kids and grandkids, and many of my old friends.
I am still teaching at Framingham State University, lecture in various places around
Boston, keep a blog (“SONSINO’S BLOG”), and continue to study with my
colleagues at my former temple in Needham, MA where I am the Rabbi emeritus.
We are grateful for our life, take one day at a time, and
give thanks to God for all the blessings that are ours.
