Rabbi Rifat Sonsino, Ph.D
Recently, a
prominent Rabbi in Massachusetts died. His name was Harold Kushner. He was the
author of a very popular book called, When Bad Things Happen to Good People
(1981), which he wrote after the death of his son from progeria. Agonizing over this tragedy, the author
concluded that there is some randomness in the universe, which even God cannot
control. Rabbi Kushner was eulogized by many people during his funeral. Obviously,
he heard none of this.
His death triggered
an idea. Why wait until you pass on? Why not have a living funeral during which
people can express their feelings and appreciations for you while you are
around? The concept is not totally new: In a well-known book by Mitch Album,
called Tuesdays with Morrie (1997), the protagonist, having attended a colleague’s
funeral, feels depressed thinking that the deceased never get the opportunity
to hear the good things said about them during funeral services. So, Morrie
decides to have a “living funeral” which ends up being a great success. A woman
even reads a poem about him that moves him to tears.
Doing a bit of
research on the subject, I discovered that the Japanese already have such a
ceremony. It is called Seizenso, and is gaining great popularity. The first
ceremony of this kind was held by the Japanese singer and actress Takiko
Mizunoe in 1992 and was broadcast on TV to great fanfare. Similar practices are
now found in South Korea and other places, even in Scotland.
Would you hold a
living funeral for yourself? Some people would say, it is selfish and reeks of self-aggrandizement.
On the contrary, I would argue that this may be a great opportunity for the
celebrant to read his will, both financial or ethical, and share it with all
the attendees.
If you feel this
does not ring right for you, then, may I suggest that, while you are alive and
well, you should thank people who have influenced you and sustained you in good
times and bad. Albert Schweitzer once said: “Each of us has cause to think with
deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within is.” You will feel good about it, and your mentor
will smile and feel appreciated.
