My Commentary of the Ten Commandments- And God Spoke These Words

 

DO YOU LIKE YOUR NAME?

 Rabbi Rifat Sonsino, Ph.D

In Jewish tradition, it is customary to name children after parents. Sephardic Jews  name a child after a living parent, who, while alive, can rejoice in the perpetuation of one’s name. Ashkenazic Jews, however, name their children after parents who are deceased, because giving some else your name while alive implies that the donor is about to lose his/her own life. It was the Romans who originated a system of naming, consisting of a combination of personal and family names. Today, many parents are giving their children names freely chosen by the father and mother, unrelated to family.

However, whether one names a child after a living or a dead relative, or, a parent chooses names taken from the realm of nature, the ethical question for me is whether or not it is appropriate to burden someone with a name chosen by others. 

To give you an example: I was born in Turkey and was named Rifat after my grandfather whose Hebrew name was Refael. The Hebrew word means, “Heal, [O] God”, and is found in I Chr. 26: 7, as the name of a Levitical priest. Refael-Rifat: that was close enough. The name Rifat is in Turkish (from the Arabic verb RAFAA, meaning to elevate; RIFAT in Arabic means, “excellency.”). I had no issues with it while I lived in Istanbul or Ankara, but when I moved to Paris and then came to the States in the early 60’s, my name became a problem, because few people could recognize it and even fewer could pronounce it.

A quick study shows that many societies around the globe have different traditions regarding naming.  In Costa Rica, for example, it was common to name children after saints; in some parts of India, it is the horoscope that determines the name; in Spain, one gets one or two names, followed by two surnames to honor mother and father or grandparents; in Greece, one waits a few days and then is given the name of a grandfather or grandmother.

However, all these customs still impose a name upon children who have to live with it. What happens if, later on, they don’t like their name? Why should they carry this burden for the rest of their lives?

In the Hebrew Bible, a number of people had a name change: For instance, Abram became Abraham, Sarai became Sarah, Joseph became Zafnat Paneah, Yedidyah became Solomon. In the New Testament, Saul became Paul.  In modern times, a  number of celebrities have changed their name. Thus, for example, Reginald Kenneth Dwight became Elton John; Jennifer L. Anastassakis became Jennifer Aniston; Destiny Hope Cyrus became Miles Syrus and Eric Marlon Bishop became Jamie Foxx.

Maybe, one should get a temporary name for the first few years of one’s life, and then, upon reaching adulthood, adopt a personal name chosen freely by the individual. In my case, I should have changed my name when I came to the States in 1961, but I never did.

What do you think?

Nov. 9, 2021; 669,980 blog viewers, worldwide.